As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves. Mahatma Ghandi

Writings

Don’t let stress and anxiety become who you are...Instead of what you feel.
by Vincent Parisi

Have you ever gone through a period in your life when you’ve said to yourself, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I’m stressed and anxious all the time. It’s affecting my professional life and my personal life”? Sure, everyone has had those feelings from time to time. Some of us more than others. In fact, over 80% of us tend to favor negative thoughts more often than not. The end result of this constant negativity often manifests itself in the form of various dependencies including substance abuse, smoking or eating addictions. The effects of this are further exhibited in the workplace through excessive absenteeism from illness and fatigue, and, as a result, reduced productivity.

Consider the possibility that we are all “perfect beings” who are having “human experiences” throughout our lives. What does that mean exactly? It means that there’s a big difference between what we are feeling from day to day, and how we let those experiences define who we are. In referring to all of us as “perfect beings” I certainly don’t mean to imply that we are all perfect, or without fault. If we were, we certainly wouldn’t be searching for ways to manage our negative or harmful feelings. What I am suggesting is that we are all perfect at a spiritual level and that is because we were created in the image of God, who is the highest being of Perfection. But, we are also humans who are having an experience called life - and in many case one that is fraught with stress, anxiety, anger and depression. But, what can be done about it when everything in your life appears to be going wrong?

I’m sure if you gave it a moment of thought, you’d realize that most of us tend to say things life, “I am stressed out... I am anxious and depressed... I am filled with tension... I am angry...” Does this sound like you? What we don’t realize is that by saying, “I am,” versus, “I feel,” we are defining the person we are. The proclamations we make often become self-fulfilling prophecies and we begin to convince ourselves that these are not momentary feelings, but rather descriptions of the kind of person we’ve become. The key is recognizing that we have negative feelings from time to time, but not allowing them to consume us.

Part of the solution is to try to reduce the things that cause us to have feelings of stress and anxiety in the first place. We live in a society saturated with items that are intended to make our lives easier and which are seemingly intrinsic to our mere existence - computers, cell phones, pagers, the Internet, fax machines, radios and televisions. You get the picture. Inasmuch as these items have become main staples in our lives, one that we couldn’t fathom living without, we don’t realize the adverse effects of these items of convenience have on us. Every day we are bombarded by a constant stream of information that our minds are struggling to process. Once in a while, we need to take a break from these things and just “recharge our batteries.” We can accomplish this simply by taking some time to turn off the radio, log off that Internet, put down that remote control!

Take some quiet time to reflect on the things that make you happy and which are important to you. Take a leisurely stroll in a nearby park or maybe pick up that book you’ve been dying to read. Perhaps it’s a hobby such as crocheting or woodworking that brings feelings of peacefulness and tranquillity to you. Whatever it may be, if only for a half hour a day, you’ll be surprised at the difference. It may be beyond our control when that darned car breaks down or the boss is on a rampage, but we have more control of how we let that affect us than we think. By taking some quiet time for ourselves - recharging our batteries - we can head off those feelings of anger or anxiety before they come to a boil. Take some time to reestablish the human connection between ourselves and our families and friends.

Most importantly, remember that the way you speak and the words you use are your most powerful ally in the fight against all-consuming stress. When your first impulse is to use a negative expression, try to turn that impulse into a positive affirmation. For example, instead of proclaiming that you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, try rephrasing that by saying, “I’ve had a very demanding and exhausting week, but I’m going to leave that all behind and take a few minutes for myself... to unwind.” As you face your daily challenges, try to remain focused on the positive aspects of your life and it will change your perspective of things. Remember to tell yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes. Remind yourself that we are all perfect beings who are having the human experience called life.